Dragon Attire - Empowered Living: A Guide to Physical and Emotional Protection by Tori M. Eldridge

Empowered Living offers bold and enlightening concepts to strengthen our whole being. Instead of relegating emotional and physical protection to separate areas of expertise, Tori M. Eldridge treats them as one issue with the same challenges and strategies for success. A strong believer in personal responsibility, she guides her readers through honest introspection and hard facts to stop passing the buck, the blame, and the power.

Her book includes specific exercises and visualizations to teach practical skills like effective communication, overcoming fear, and sensory assault, as well as to affirm self-worth and attain emotional equilibrium. The chapter devoted to physical defense thoroughly details strategies, techniques and precautions applicable to people of any age, gender or size. The personal stories and examples shared throughout the book make this an enjoyable read as well as serving to remind us all of our common fallibility and power.

All action begins in the mind. At the very inception lies a thought. If that thought has enough power we reinforce it with words. If we mean what we say, we manifest it with action. In a perfect world our most positive and empowering thoughts are reinforced and followed through to fruition. In reality, many of our more destructive thoughts ruminate in our mind and seep out into unhelpful words and potentially disastrous actions. The mind holds the power to embolden or to sabotage.

Our control over our thoughts, words and actions, is much greater than our control over our emotions. Therefore, instead of attempting to change how we feel about things, we need to change how we think about things. Changing the way in which we think or the words that we use to express an idea is more than an exercise in semantics. Words have power. The way in which we use them can lead us to success or undermine our every attempt.

There are two ways in which we are vulnerable - physically and emotionally. While these two aspects of safety may appear to be unrelated, they are in fact dependent upon one another. Unfortunately, most people address them separately and unequally. When we consciously connect them, the strategies we use to keep us safe physically, become the strategies we use to keep us safe emotionally, and visa versa. When we combine these two aspects together into one concept of power and safety, we can apply universal principals to our advantage in any situation.

Physical danger is the greater threat. Many people die from physical injury while very few die from emotional injury. It’s much easier to see and accept solutions to physical challenges. The danger is more obvious. The jeopardy is higher. Our conviction to act is stronger. We still have our history and perceptions which may hinder us, but it is easier to forge through these when examining a physical threat. The physical situations, therefore, become a model for their emotional counter parts throughout this book. This union helps us to think of empowerment as one concept protecting our whole being.

We begin by building upon a solid foundation of self esteem. A person’s ability to protect themselves rises in direct proportion to their estimation of their own self worth. Simply stated, we will defend what we value. The greater the value, the more we will be willing to risk in order to preserve it. We will need to gain knowledge, skill and competence, but before we can implement them we must first believe that we are worthy of the effort. This belief must be inviolable. Whether presenting ourselves for promotion, quelling rude unwanted behavior, or voicing our emotional needs to a loved one, we need to first believe that we are deserving of that which we seek. When faced with a physical assault that belief must be sacrosanct.

In order to promote an empowered mind-set we must also be willing to create and defend our own emotional and physical well-being instead of just relying on others to do it for us. While we have loved ones and law enforcers to aid in our protection, we still need to know that even if everyone else fails, we will not quit. This also applies to creating a happy environment for ourselves. While it’s advantageous to surround ourselves with people who have our best interest at heart, if we depend upon them we shift the responsibility and power away from ourselves. At the end of the day, we alone are responsible for creating and defending our well-being. This commitment to our self -preservation and happiness is the basis of the survival mind-set.

The comforts and technology of our society have taken this fundamental issue of survival from the forefront of our minds. While we may stress about the quality of our food and shelter, very few of us have to risk our lives daily to hunt, build and defend it. We wake up, have our day, and tuck ourselves into bed at night without ever having to make a conscious decision of what our lives are worth. Just like the domestic pets that live under our vigilant protection, we go through our day under the assumption that we will meet the next. This relative security shelters us from ever having to quantify the value of our existence in its most unrefined form.

What is our life worth, and what are we willing to do in order to preserve it? We know that brutality exists but most of us don’t want to dwell on the possibility that it could visit us. Facing these issues, however, will not only serve to protect us physically, but to empower us emotionally. Quantifying the value of our life in absolute terms helps us to create a powerful mind-set that will then benefit every aspect of our lives.

There is an enormous difference between a person’s right to life and their value to society. While a Pulitzer Prize winner may make a greater contribution to the progress of humanity than an office janitor, it does not mean that he or she has any more right to live. If we were to qualify people’s right to live according to their contributions and accomplishments, most of us wouldn’t even be able to see the top of the world’s totem pole let alone get near it.

So whose life is the most valuable? Your life is the most valuable, not because you are the smartest, or the kindest, or the most needed; your life is the most valuable because it’s the only one you’ve got. You could live in complete isolation and anonymity and still your life would be the most important -- to you. After all, we can only live and love and experience from our own unique perspective. In our lives we must sit at the top of our own totem pole.

There is no stronger bond than between parent and child. Not only is the love fierce, but it’s backed by the instinct and duty to protect. As a result, many parents fumble over a statement like, “my life is the most important,” because they immediately think of their children. They know in their hearts that they would jump in front of a train to push their child to safety so the statement loses its ferocity because of the caveat.

I believe we can be true to both the belief that our life is the most important to us and our willingness to endanger or even sacrifice that life for our loved ones. It’s all about perspective. If the survival of our child is of the utmost importance to our emotional well-being then it stands to reason that we must do whatever it takes to ensure his survival. It is our right to make this decision because we are the ultimate judge and protector of our lives. This perspective contains more power than simply reducing our importance in comparison to our children. Powerful perspectives lead to powerful lives.

If you have ever flown on an airplane, you have heard the instruction to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you put it on your child. The reason is that our children need us in order to survive. If we do not secure our own fate first, we will not be able to secure theirs. This also applies to our emotional health and happiness. Children learn from example and environment Miserable unfulfilled parents do not raise happy successful children. Therefore, if we truly want the best for our children we need to take care of ourselves and that includes defending our emotional and physical well-being. If you are one of these people who have a difficult time mustering up the will to inflict necessary emotional or physical injury for your own sake, then do it for the people who love and depend on you.